Every day is Independence Day when you're "hard to get"


It has been a full three years since my big long decade-wasting relationship ended, and  I've gone through many strange psychological phases during this time.  I've been completely shut off from the world at times, other times I've been desperate for anyone to even pretend they care about me. One time, early last year, I was actually in a really good place and ready to meet my soulmate.  It only took one cold hearted asshole to squish those nice girl feelings into oblivion and replace them with a fresh supply of cynicism.  Now...I'm in a new phase where, for the first time ever, I like being single.  I've never been harder to get than I am right now.
To clarify, I'm not playing hard to get.  That's a deliberate mind game, which is not my style.  The fact is, being in a relationship(especially a new one) involves trying really fucking hard to be the most socially desirable version of yourself at all times.  It also involves giving someone else a say in many of the decisions you make, big or small.  At this point in my life, I have no desire to purposely get up before noon on Saturday just so a dude doesn't think I'm lazy.  I don't want to put on a nice outfit and makeup when I'm going nowhere, just because he might come by and be horrified by my bare face and yoga pants.  I especially don't want to justify any of my decisions to anyone, whether it's a purchase, a career change, or change in appearance.  Finally, I don't want to start explaining (again) that a salad or a turkey sandwich does in fact constitute "dinner" (especially for someone with a very slow metabolism).  For all of these reasons and more, I am glad to hang onto my full autonomy until I meet someone who either doesn't require such exhausting bullshit or at least makes the bullshit worthwhile. Until then, I'm getting by just fine with a little help from my friends.  
So, there it is.  That's the difference between playing hard to get and actually being hard to get.  I'm going to put on my yoga pants now, make a turkey sandwich for dinner and watch those unrealistically romantic movies that most dudes hate...because I can!!!   Every day is Independence Day for me, and I celebrate accordingly...by freely doing whatever the fuck I want.  
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Comments (11)

  1. withwings

    Sounds like you’re doing absolutely wonderful to me

    May 11, 2015
  2. wirelessguru1

    So who is trying to get you anyway!?

    May 11, 2015
  3. atmartin06

    A better question is…who isn’t trying to get me? I’m an awesome chick! 😜 Thanks for reading!

    May 11, 2015
    1. wirelessguru1

      So you have a lot of Clowns trying to get you!?

      May 11, 2015
    2. honestycounts

      And modest…

      May 31, 2015
  4. wanderingdreams

    Good to know there are people with a similar mindset out there. Although I may be a tad different. I quit the two jobs I was working last year and broke up with my manipulative ex girlfriend to travel to Japan and work on organic farms. I lay down outside sometimes on benches or in forests cause I don’t wanna have to pay for a hotel. I walk outside during typhoon weather with no umbrella cause the rain feels good. I recently got constipated so sometimes I have a romantic dinner with myself that consists of a nice glass of prune juice and salad. And the first souvenir I boughht from Japan was an enema just in case I need to shoot water up my ass so I can go to the bathroom! Single life to the max.

    May 13, 2015
    1. honestycounts

      Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure that’s a little more information than we needed to fucking know… Lol

      May 31, 2015
      1. wanderingdreams

        Says the person who chose the name “honestycounts”. I’m being honest bro. Hahaha

        June 01, 2015
        1. honestycounts


          June 01, 2015
  5. atmartin06

    Dude, props for the adventure story but TMI!!!!!

    May 22, 2015
  6. honestycounts

    We’ll shit…. I sort of like yoga pants…highlights the finer points..

    May 31, 2015