8 Simple Rules for Dating Me (or any other strong woman)

8 Simple Rules for Dating Me (or any other strong woman)


8. Stop thinking that friendship is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you.  If you are the type who will decline a friendship with me simply because it does not offer you immediate access to my vagina, you have absolutely no chance with me.  A real relationship is built on friendship, which requires that you actually give a shit about me as a person.  Don’t think of it as being “friend zoned.”  Think of it as an opportunity to remain in my life and show me why you deserve to be more than a friend.  If that’s too much work or too inconvenient for you, I know for sure that you are not the one for me. 


7. Do what you say you will.  If you say you’re going to call/text me later, you better actually do it.  If we make plans, you better honor them unless there is a legitimate emergency situation that you communicate clearly to me.  Failure to follow through on your word tells me one thing: you are not trustworthy, and therefore not worth my time. 


6. Understand that I am not a possession, and I never will be.  I am an independent human being, and I expect a 50/50 relationship with all the respect I deserve.  I could choose to leave at any moment, so, rather than trying to “lock me down,” why not spend every day showing me why it’s worth my while to be with you?


5.Understand that you will have absolutely no official input regarding my life decisions until there is a ring on my finger.  If I’m considering a major change in my life, I will ask for advice from several sources including you but, at the end of the day, the decision is 100% mine.  As long as I remain unmarried, my household consists of only one person: a sole decision maker who is more than capable of managing her own life. 


4. Understand that I will most likely not agree to live with you before engagement or maybe even marriage (even if we are perfect together).  It’s not a religious thing or a control issue; it’s simply protecting myself from making the same mistake I made before.  In my experience, a man who has a pretend wife does not want a real one, and the breaking up/moving out process feels like a divorce.  I’m not going to let that happen again. 


3. If you don’t want kids (or more kids, if that would be the case), just forget it.  As much as I joke about never having kids because they annoy me at the grocery store, I do want to be a mom.  I see pictures and status updates every day from my friends who are parents, and it makes me wish I had that connection and sense of purpose.  Before my time is up, I will have at least one child of my own (even if I have to do it by myself). 


2. Understand that I will never agree to purposely have children with you outside of marriage.  If you are not committed enough to marry me, you are also not committed enough to raise children with me.  I have over 10 years of experience using birth control responsibly, and I will remain in full control of my reproduction (or lack of it).  You can help me ceremoniously throw away my birth control pills after the wedding. 


1. Accept me as I am!  I am not a morning person, most certainly not a gym rat, and I would rather stay in with a home cooked dinner and a movie than go to the club most nights.  The minute you start trying to wake me up at 7 am on my day off, complain about my vices, or insist that I go out every weekend, we are going to have a problem.  Also, if you are not man enough to live in a house with guns, you are not man enough to live with me.  I'm a gun owner because shooting is a fun sport that could save my life or someone else's in a pinch.  Basically, if you don’t like me for who I am, please go away so I can meet someone who does.  I love myself for who I am, and I'm not changing for anybody.


So...now that you've read all that, I have one question.  Who would like to take me out to dinner? 

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